Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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