Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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