what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
