im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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