Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
