just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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