i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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