went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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