Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
