I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I understand Curling. That high.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
