Yo dont text me then not text me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
