Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
