we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They have beer where we have blood.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize