got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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