I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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