In the future we'll all be gay
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
