well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
