Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize