It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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