My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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