this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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