I think im going to throw up on grandma
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
