Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
