I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
