Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
