Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

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(559): View more from California

my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding

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(586): View more from Michigan

May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself

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