Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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