your thong is hanging out like whoa
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
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