I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
