Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah, where have you been?

  (407): View more from Florida

  Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.

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  (978): Yeah, where have you been? (407): Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus. http://tfl.nu/jpxm
  Replies (1) Good night (1381) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink

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  (906): And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink http://tfl.nu/999y
  Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (1023)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

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  (978): I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to? http://tfl.nu/b64u
  Replies (21) Good night (4318) Bad night (814)
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  (818): View more from California

  That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff

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  (818): That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff http://tfl.nu/4b3c
  Replies (33) Good night (852) Bad night (8519)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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  (917): i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing. http://tfl.nu/nkz8
  Replies (10) Good night (1177) Bad night (3277)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude

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  (907): I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude http://tfl.nu/0pzh
  Replies (9) Good night (2436) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.

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  (561): I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition. http://tfl.nu/6rth
  Replies (19) Good night (2644) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.

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  (212): You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band. http://tfl.nu/ldj0
  Replies (10) Good night (2837) Bad night (728)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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  (940): He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there. http://tfl.nu/awit
  Replies (3) Good night (1140) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...

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  (870): Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories... http://tfl.nu/piuz
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.

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  (623): Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing. http://tfl.nu/8dgm
  Replies (8) Good night (2076) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.

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  (956): I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied. http://tfl.nu/aspz
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i think i just asked a donut if it was ok

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  (503): i think i just asked a donut if it was ok http://tfl.nu/mr7m
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?

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  (519): What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section? http://tfl.nu/nzbt
  Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!

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  (661): GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON! http://tfl.nu/p0kv
  Replies (0) Good night (229) Bad night (315)

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