Did you just see the Batmobile???
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just found a bag of teeth...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.