Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.

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(618): Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman. http://tfl.nu/awok

Replies (12) Good night (2649) Bad night (965)
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(513): View more from Ohio

you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her

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(513): you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her http://tfl.nu/dn9c

Replies (48) Good night (962) Bad night (5558)
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(563): View more from Iowa

i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...

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(563): i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes... http://tfl.nu/mlmh

Replies (28) Good night (5332) Bad night (1054)
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(519): View more from Ontario

due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.

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(519): due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron. http://tfl.nu/58sn

Replies (21) Good night (9253) Bad night (1355)
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(718): View more from New York

...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex

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(718): ...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex http://tfl.nu/2clh

Replies (17) Good night (4958) Bad night (1469)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

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(617): I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/p474

Replies (21) Good night (1357) Bad night (5098)
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(515): View more from Iowa

at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.

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(515): at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there. http://tfl.nu/x808

Replies (4) Good night (2718) Bad night (960)
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(305): View more from Florida

We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.

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(305): We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail. http://tfl.nu/cojn

Replies (9) Good night (3179) Bad night (912)
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(631): View more from New York

can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished

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(631): can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished http://tfl.nu/t99v

Replies (8) Good night (3768) Bad night (1341)
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(773): View more from Illinois

after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown

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(773): after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown http://tfl.nu/azzf

Replies (7) Good night (929) Bad night (1327)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...

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(651): It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart... http://tfl.nu/9gca

Replies (6) Good night (818) Bad night (1504)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.

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(250): Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life. http://tfl.nu/nnhi

Replies (8) Good night (1059) Bad night (664)
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(817): View more from Texas

Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard

(1-817): View more from Texas

Pass or fail tho

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(817): Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard (1-817): Pass or fail tho http://tfl.nu/htlu

Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (934)
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(845): View more from New York

So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.

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(845): So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/55s3

Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (427)
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(819): View more from Quebec

I feel awkward giving career advice while naked

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(819): I feel awkward giving career advice while naked http://tfl.nu/b8zx

Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (294)

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