ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
