He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
