also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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