You work out of a Hotel?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
