Pappa wants mamma naked
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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