he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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