oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
