Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
