Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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