If that was your dad, he is hot
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
