their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i've created a new STD.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize