I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Still dying that you shit outside
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
