Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
