Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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