Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
