he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
