Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
