Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
