I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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