haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
