some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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