i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
