Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
