I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
