Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize