Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
