I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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