Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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