Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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