I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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