It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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