after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
