there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
